Dating, and meeting people to date.

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I’m a fairly young single guy and I’d like to meet my miss right and I’m sitting here thinking that rather than having that awkwardness of disclosing the bladder thing, it may be nice to meet someone with a similar issue so if there’s chemistry not only can we have a solid relationship but have a personal understanding for each other issue.

Everything I can find is either scamish or fetish oriented.

I’m really not sure what to do with this thought. Would anyone else be open to some site or app to meet people with the condition? This is just a random train of thought that I’m not sure if I should dismiss or try to follow thru on.

 

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I'd join a group like that if there was one.

 

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That is a great idea and if I weren’t married to the most wonderful woman in the world I would definitely try that out

 

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Wait - Pete, are you and I married to the same woman? LOL

 

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Well Stuart I guess we are the luckiest guys in the world then!!

 

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And all this time I thought I was the luckiest guy in the world.

That site sounds like a great idea. You should create one.

 

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Thinking this over this morning I’m thinking of a few issues.
-Would a relatively equal number of women be willing to join? I don’t want a 100:1 ratio or ant thing like that.

-how could I make it free and still cover opex (I’d be willing to do it non profit but I can’t foot the bill for ongoing operations) maybe sell diaper ads or something. Or ask for donations for what you think it’s worth.

- safety. Not only from a legal and liability standpoint but from a “I’m a decent person who doesn’t want people to get hurt” standpoint. How do I keep creeps and criminals off the site?

 

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I would bet there are dating site creation best practices on google

 

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@Newbie2this One thing that I think might be an issue would be that a site like that would attract certain fetishists. Now if everybody is on the up and up about their agenda, then I'm ok with that, but if you're faking incontinence because you get off on incontinent people, then that I am not ok with.

BTW I'm married to the most wonderful woman in the world, just ask her.

 

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I agree about the fetishists. I don’t judge, whatever makes someone happy in their private lives is fine by me but that’s not what’s wanted here. I’d think there’d be a check box on the signup form to affirm that you have a medical issue.

If someone developed the fetish as a result of incontinence they may be welcomeed too so long as they keep the fetish stuff out of their on site interactions.

 

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I havent found my incontinence to be much of a problem at all as far as dating is concerned. Altho I can say as far as dating/relationships “i got 99 problems but incontence is not one.” I was self concious about it myself but I dont make it an issue for anyone Im dating and I take care of those issues very well. Once past getting to know someone intimately, its usually never mentioned again. This is just been my experience so far. For now Im done with serious relationships and it has nothing to with my incontence issue. If dating is what you want to do, certainly dont let this issue hold you back. I would advise that with anything you would like to do not just dating.

 

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I was married when my incontinence appeared she is great with me and I take care of myself.I don,t think they are totally in tune but can live with it.

 

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@sport I'm the same, my wife is fine with my problems as long as I deal with it myself, Phil

 

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@sport I'm the same, my wife is fine with my problems as long as I deal with it myself, Phil

I too take care of myself, but does anyone worry what will happen when the day comes and you are no longer able to do for yourself? I've been having to accept more and more help lately and it's uncomfortable for me.

 

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I used to be a dating site match maker and profiler, many life times, many interesting jobs!!
I suggest you ask the forum administration if you can do a sort of test run by posting the concept of dating with incontinence HERE. If you give them a fore notice you won't be flagged as a fetishist or opportunist by them. It can help you hone possible Q and A for a separate website.
2 other observations
First, interesting that the married or dating folks here their partners are not incontinent and its not why they chose their partner OR a deal breaker.
Second, i explained to many love hopefuls that sexual activity is like a micro wave dinner compare to a home cooked meal made by hand, eaten with friends, with a recipe adding ingredients slowly and simmering.
If you rush into intimacy you will have food but not the good warm lasting feeling and memories .

For what its worth, there are quite number of people men and women of all ages on the NAFC forum that are silent much of the time and single so a dating invite might garner their interest.

 

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Well put maymay,
I can certainly believe you would be a wonderful matchmaker. Nothing like some home cooked meal for me at least.
Hope everyone has a nice afternoon.

Jim

 

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Hahaha Jim, seems like you're living proof that incontinence didnt deter a good woman

 

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I am Blessed everyday to have such a wonderful woman in my life.

 

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I actually started dating someone around 8 months ago. Was so freaking scared of having to introduce my "issue". Lol. But she was so easy to talk to and when it came to telling her i felt comfortable enough. She seems totally fine with it. And we even share the bed even though i do most of the time have bowel and bladder accidents in the night as well. I do my best to be respectfull to her and deal with the incontinence. It is harder to actively talk about it to her and we don't really discuss it. Back home I used to get help changing when out of home but by myself it is really difficult and I don't really do it(maybe i need to learn). it's just cleaning up after a bowel accident is just so difficult. I hope one day I can be a bit more open about it but yeah, it's tough, embarassing but when you do find a person who supports you they've already proved to be pretty open minded.

 

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@Newbie2this yeah it's not that straight forward. It's just anything online I'm so paranoid of and that just makes it harder on me cause I find it really difficult to talk about my issues to anyone especially people who I just met, it's just the incontinence situation makes me anxious regardless. Sometimes I find the situation i'm in disgusting to say the least and to find people get off on it creeps me out and is just scary.