My experience of helping my 86 year old mother was in Florida. She had superb insurance and medicare so i found some doctors would try to milk it unless i intervened but most will be very unlikely to operate on a person in their 80s and older because of the risk of complications and death.
I know brave old folks can be single minded an stubborn so i would take a very simple statement such as , " mom, it isn't safe." And be willing to repeat this over and over. And then have "fascinating " debates on why you say that.
From my experience working with many elders and from living in Gods waiting room, Florida, i was aware of many, many stories of operations that were followed by pain sepsis and lingering bedridden conditions until death.
So add to that a plethora of people here who are 20 to 60 who had operations for incontinence that were unsuccessful and i think you can see that buying quality diapers and living each day with serenity is a better way to approach 100 in MY opinion.
